English is Crazy

Pete Seeger was a famous American folk singer, who recorded a version of “English is Crazy”…

Here are the words to the song…

Pete Seeger   English Is Cuh-Ray-Zee

English is the most widely used language in the history of the planet.
One out of every seven human beings can speak or read it.
It has the largest vocabulary, perhaps two million words,
But face it:  English is cuh-ray-zee!

Just a few examples: There’s no egg in eggplant, no pine or apple in pineapple.
A writer writes, but do fingers fing?
Can grocers groce?
Quicksand works slowly; boxing rings are square.
English is cuh-ray-zee!

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?
It’s one goose, two geese. Why not one moose, two meese?
The plural of index is indices, should it be one Kleenex, two Kleenices?
English is cuh-ray-zee!

In what other language do you drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?
Recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck but send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
English is cuh-ray-zee!

You have to marvel at the lunacy of a language in which your house can burn down
When it burns up.
You fill out a form when you fill it in.
Your alarm clock goes off when it goes on.
And if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
English is cuh-ray-zee!

Well, English was made up by people, not computers.
It reflects the creativity of the human race.
So that’s why when I wind up my watch I start it, but when I wind up this rap,
I end it. English is cuh-ray-zee!

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